"Every motion in the world taken separately was calculated and purposeful, but, taken together, they were spontaneously intoxicated with the general stream of life which united them all. .. This freedom came from the feeling that all human lives were interrelated, a certainty that they flowed into each - a happy feeling that all events took place not only on the earth, in which the dead are buried, but also in some other region which some called the Kingdom of God, others history, and still others by some other name." (p. 13)
"When they jumped out onto the track and picked flowers or took a short walk to stretch their legs, they felt as if the whole place owed its existence to the accident, and that without it neither the swampy meadow with hillocks, the broad river, nor the fine house and church on the steep opposite side would have been there. Even the diffident evening sun seemed to be a purely local feature." (p. 15)
"'How wonderful to be alive,' he thought. 'But why does it always hurt?'" (p. 17)
"'And why is it,' thought Lara, 'that my fate is to see everything and take it all so much to heart?'" (p. 24)
"Nothing equalled her spiritual beauty. Her hands were stunning like a sublime idea. Her shadow on the wall of the hotel room was like the outline of her innocence. ... 'Lara,' he whispered, shutting his eyes, and he had a vision of her head resting on his hands; her eyes were closed, she was asleep, unconscious that he watched her sleeplessly for hours on end. Her hair was scattered and its beauty stung his eyes like smoke and ate into his heart." (p.46)
"And it is this that makes the whole of life so terrifying. Does it crush you by thunder and lightning? No, by oblique glances and whispered calumny. It is all treachery and ambiguity. Any single thread is as fragile as a cobweb, but just try to pull yourself out of the net, you only become more entangled.
And the strong are dominated by the weak and the ignoble." (p. 48)
"He was so childishly simple that he did not conceal his joy at seeing her, as if she were some summer landscape of birch trees, grass, and clouds, and could freely express his enthusiasm about her without any risk of being laughed at." (p. 50)
"And now listen carefully. You in others - this is your soul. This is what you are. This is what your consciousness has breathed and lived on and enjoyed throughout your life - your soul, your immortality, your life in others. And what now? You have always been in others and you will remain in others. And what does it matter to you if later on that is called your memory? This will be you - the you that enters the future and becomes a part of it.
And now one last point. There is nothing to fear. There is no such thing as death. Death has nothing to do with us." (p. 68)
"He rebelled against the motherly feeling that all her life had been a part of her affection for him and could not see that such a love was something more, not less, than the ordinary feeling of a woman for a man" (p. 109)
"How I wish your face to say that you are happy with your fate and that you need nothing from anyone. If only someone who is really close to you, your friend or your husband - best of all if he were a soldier - would take me by the hand and tell me to stop worrying about your fate and not to weary you with my attentions. But I'd wrest my hand free and take a swing... " (p. 147)
"And so it turned out that only a life similar to the life of those around us, merging with it without a ripple, is genuine life, and that an unshared happiness is not happiness" (p. 175)
"What is truly great is without beginning, like the universe. It confronts us as suddenly as it if had always been there or had dropped out of the blue." (p. 182)
"In some inexplicable way it was clear at once that this man was entirely a manifestation of the will. So completely was he the self he resolved to be that everything about him seemed inevitable, exact, perfect - his well-proportioned, handsomely set head, his impetuous step, his long legs, his knee boots which may well have been muddy but looked polished, and his gray serge tunic which may have been creased but looked as if it were made of the best linen and had just been pressed.
Such was the irresistible effect of his brilliance, his unaffected ease, and his sense of being at home in any conceivable situation on earth." (p. 248)
"Filled with the loftiest aspirations from his childhood, he had looked upon the world as a vast arena where everyone competed for perfection, keeping scrupulously to the rules. When he found that this was not so, it did not occur to him that his conception of the world order might have been oversimplified. He nursed his grievance and with it the ambition to judge between life and the dark forces that distorted it, and to be life's champion and avenger." (p. 251)
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
No one belongs here more than you. Stories by Miranda July
"Did you ever really love her?
Not really, no.
But me?
Yes.
Even though I have no pizzazz?
What are you talking about, you perfect thing.
You can see that I'm perfect?" (p.8)
"It doesn't really feel like driving when you don't know where you're going. There should be an option on the car for driving in place, like treading water. Or at least a light that shines between the brake lights that you can turn on to indicate you have no destination. I felt like I was fooling the other drivers and I just wanted to come clean." (p. 110)
"Our old affair was so easy, it was the dream that lovers have of consuming each other entirely." (p. 123)
"I don't believe in psychology, which says that everything you do is because of yourself. That is so untrue. We are social animals, and everything we do is because of other people, because we love them, or because we don't." (p. 134)
"When she saw my messy desk, she said she was the same way, and there was no dust on the TV, and I was easy to love. People just need a little help because they are so used to not loving. It's like scoring the clay to make another piece of clay stick to it." (p. 138)
Not really, no.
But me?
Yes.
Even though I have no pizzazz?
What are you talking about, you perfect thing.
You can see that I'm perfect?" (p.8)
"It doesn't really feel like driving when you don't know where you're going. There should be an option on the car for driving in place, like treading water. Or at least a light that shines between the brake lights that you can turn on to indicate you have no destination. I felt like I was fooling the other drivers and I just wanted to come clean." (p. 110)
"Our old affair was so easy, it was the dream that lovers have of consuming each other entirely." (p. 123)
"I don't believe in psychology, which says that everything you do is because of yourself. That is so untrue. We are social animals, and everything we do is because of other people, because we love them, or because we don't." (p. 134)
"When she saw my messy desk, she said she was the same way, and there was no dust on the TV, and I was easy to love. People just need a little help because they are so used to not loving. It's like scoring the clay to make another piece of clay stick to it." (p. 138)
Run - Ann Patchett
"'I said it then, and I say now, that while there is a lower class, I am in it, while there is a criminal element, I am of it, and while there is a soul in prison, I am not free.. '" (p. 130) quoting speech by Eugene V. Debs
"In suggesting that there may be nothing ahead of them, he in no way meant to diminish the future; instead, Father Sullivan hoped to elevate the present to a state of the divine. ... How wrongheaded it seemed now to think that the thrill of heartbeat and breath were just a stepping stone to something greater. What could be greater than the armchair, the window, the snow? Life itself had been holy." (p.131)
"He didn't think the whole story could possibly take more than ten minutes start to finish, and yet to live it, to actually be a part of its playing out, was an excruciating investment of time." (p. 255)
"In suggesting that there may be nothing ahead of them, he in no way meant to diminish the future; instead, Father Sullivan hoped to elevate the present to a state of the divine. ... How wrongheaded it seemed now to think that the thrill of heartbeat and breath were just a stepping stone to something greater. What could be greater than the armchair, the window, the snow? Life itself had been holy." (p.131)
"He didn't think the whole story could possibly take more than ten minutes start to finish, and yet to live it, to actually be a part of its playing out, was an excruciating investment of time." (p. 255)
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Life of Pi - Yann Martel
"The reason death sticks so closely to life isn't biological necessity - it's envy. Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it, a jealous, possessive love that grabs at what it can." (p. 6)
"I have nothing to say of my working life, only that a tie is a noose, and inverted though it is, it will hang a man nonetheless if he's not careful." (p. 6)
"If Christ spent an anguished night in prayer, if He burst out from the cross 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?' then surely we are also permitted doubt. But we must move on. To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation." (p. 28)
"Whatever the reason for wanting to escape, sane or insane, zoo detractors should realize that animals don't escape to somewhere but from something." (p. 41)
"Blue, green, red, gold and violet flickered and shimmered neon-like on its surface as it struggled. I felt I was beating a rainbow to death." (p. 185)
"I did not count the days or the weeks or the months. Time is an illusion that only makes us pant. I survived because I forgot even the very notion of time." (p. 192)
"What a terrible thing it is to botch a farewell. ... It's important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you let go. Otherwise you are left with words you should have said but never did, and your heart is heavy with remorse." (p. 285)
"'If you stumble at mere believability, what are you living for? Isn't love hard to believe? ... Love is hard to believe, ask any lover. Life is hard to believe, ask any scientist. God is hard to believe, ask any believer.'" (p. 297)
"'Tigers exist, lifeboats exists, oceans exist. Because the three have never come together in your narrow, limited experience, you refuse to believe that they might. Yet the plain fact is that the Tsimtsum brought them together and then sank.'" (p. 299)
"You want a story that won't surprise you. That will confirm what you already know. That won't make you see any higher or further or differently. You want a flat story. An immobile story. You want dry, yeastless factuality." (p. 302)
"I have nothing to say of my working life, only that a tie is a noose, and inverted though it is, it will hang a man nonetheless if he's not careful." (p. 6)
"If Christ spent an anguished night in prayer, if He burst out from the cross 'My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?' then surely we are also permitted doubt. But we must move on. To choose doubt as a philosophy of life is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation." (p. 28)
"Whatever the reason for wanting to escape, sane or insane, zoo detractors should realize that animals don't escape to somewhere but from something." (p. 41)
"Blue, green, red, gold and violet flickered and shimmered neon-like on its surface as it struggled. I felt I was beating a rainbow to death." (p. 185)
"I did not count the days or the weeks or the months. Time is an illusion that only makes us pant. I survived because I forgot even the very notion of time." (p. 192)
"What a terrible thing it is to botch a farewell. ... It's important in life to conclude things properly. Only then can you let go. Otherwise you are left with words you should have said but never did, and your heart is heavy with remorse." (p. 285)
"'If you stumble at mere believability, what are you living for? Isn't love hard to believe? ... Love is hard to believe, ask any lover. Life is hard to believe, ask any scientist. God is hard to believe, ask any believer.'" (p. 297)
"'Tigers exist, lifeboats exists, oceans exist. Because the three have never come together in your narrow, limited experience, you refuse to believe that they might. Yet the plain fact is that the Tsimtsum brought them together and then sank.'" (p. 299)
"You want a story that won't surprise you. That will confirm what you already know. That won't make you see any higher or further or differently. You want a flat story. An immobile story. You want dry, yeastless factuality." (p. 302)
Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim - David Sedaris
"She laughed and swatted him with a towel, and we witnessed what we would later come to recognize as the rejuvenating power of real estate. It's what fortunate couples turn to when their sex life has faded and they're too pious for affairs. A second car might bring people together for a week or two, but a second home can revitalize a marriage for up to nine months after the closing." (p. 23)
"I myself was not a member of my school's popular crowd, but I recall thinking that, whoever they were, Janet's popular crowd couldn't begin to compete with ours. But what if I was wrong? What if I'd wasted my entire life comparing myself with people who didn't really matter? Try as I might, I still can't wrap my mind around it." (p. 43)
"Looking back, I should have known better than to accompany Hugh to a love story. Such movies are always a danger as, unlike battling aliens or going undercover to track down a serial killer, falling in love is something most adults have actually experienced at some point in their lives. The theme is universal and encourages the viewer to make a number of unhealthy comparisons, ultimately raising the question "Why can't our lives be like that?" It's a box best left unopened, and it's avoidance explains the continued popularity of vampire epics and martial arts extravaganzas." (p. 138)
"Call me unimaginative, but I still can't think of anyone else I'd rather be with. On our worst days, I figure things will work themselves out. Otherwise, I really don't give our problems much thought." (p. 139)
"What more could he want? It was an incredibly stupid question and when he failed to answer, I was reminded of just how lucky I truly am. ... Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the opportunity to hurt someone's feelings." (p. 140)
"Photography interested her, so she taught herself to use a camera, ultimately landing a job in the photo department of a large international drug company, where she took pictures of germs, viruses, and people reacting to germs and viruses. On weekends, for extra money, she photographed weddings, which really wasn't that much of a stretch." (p. 145)
"I ask about guns not because I want one of my own but because the answers vary so widely from state to state. In a country that's become increasingly homogeneous, I'm reassured by these last charming touches of regionalism." (p. 158)
re: Christmas stories
"A Dutch parent has a decidedly hairier story to relate, telling his children, 'Listen, you might want to pack a few of your things together before going to bed. The former bishop of Turkey will be coming tonight along with six to eight black men. They might put some candy in your shoes, they might stuff you into a sack and take you to Spain, or they might just pretend to kick you. We don't know for sure, but we want you to be prepared.'" (p. 163)
"I can't seem to fathom that the things important to me are not important to other people as well, and so I come off sounding like a missionary, someone whose job is to convert rather than listen. ... It's not that I don't like her - far from it - I just worry that, without a regular job and the proper linoleum, she'll fall through a crack and disappear to a place where we can't find her." (p. 203)
"That's the problem with wishes, they ensnare you." (p. 209)
"I could have asked for one at the front desk, but I didn't want a lightbulb. I just wanted to feel put-upon." (p. 211)
"'So it was inflatable?' The guests laughed at Hugh's little joke, and I took a moment to think the worse of them. An inflatable hand is preposterous and not worth imagining. Couldn't they see that?" (p. 226)
"People who are competing for the titles of best-loved aunts and uncles ... send satin pants and delicate hand-crafted sweaters accompanied by notes reading 'P.S. The fur collar is detachable.' The baby is photographed in each new outfit, and I receive pictures almost daily. In them my brother and his wife look not like parents but like backwoods kidnappers, secretly guarding the heiress to a substantial cashmere fortune." (p. 242)
"'Hyaa!' I yell. 'Hyaa. Hyaa!" It's the sound my father makes when entering his toolshed, the cry of cowboys as they round up dogies, and it suggests a certain degree of authority." (p. 251)
"I myself was not a member of my school's popular crowd, but I recall thinking that, whoever they were, Janet's popular crowd couldn't begin to compete with ours. But what if I was wrong? What if I'd wasted my entire life comparing myself with people who didn't really matter? Try as I might, I still can't wrap my mind around it." (p. 43)
"Looking back, I should have known better than to accompany Hugh to a love story. Such movies are always a danger as, unlike battling aliens or going undercover to track down a serial killer, falling in love is something most adults have actually experienced at some point in their lives. The theme is universal and encourages the viewer to make a number of unhealthy comparisons, ultimately raising the question "Why can't our lives be like that?" It's a box best left unopened, and it's avoidance explains the continued popularity of vampire epics and martial arts extravaganzas." (p. 138)
"Call me unimaginative, but I still can't think of anyone else I'd rather be with. On our worst days, I figure things will work themselves out. Otherwise, I really don't give our problems much thought." (p. 139)
"What more could he want? It was an incredibly stupid question and when he failed to answer, I was reminded of just how lucky I truly am. ... Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the opportunity to hurt someone's feelings." (p. 140)
"Photography interested her, so she taught herself to use a camera, ultimately landing a job in the photo department of a large international drug company, where she took pictures of germs, viruses, and people reacting to germs and viruses. On weekends, for extra money, she photographed weddings, which really wasn't that much of a stretch." (p. 145)
"I ask about guns not because I want one of my own but because the answers vary so widely from state to state. In a country that's become increasingly homogeneous, I'm reassured by these last charming touches of regionalism." (p. 158)
re: Christmas stories
"A Dutch parent has a decidedly hairier story to relate, telling his children, 'Listen, you might want to pack a few of your things together before going to bed. The former bishop of Turkey will be coming tonight along with six to eight black men. They might put some candy in your shoes, they might stuff you into a sack and take you to Spain, or they might just pretend to kick you. We don't know for sure, but we want you to be prepared.'" (p. 163)
"I can't seem to fathom that the things important to me are not important to other people as well, and so I come off sounding like a missionary, someone whose job is to convert rather than listen. ... It's not that I don't like her - far from it - I just worry that, without a regular job and the proper linoleum, she'll fall through a crack and disappear to a place where we can't find her." (p. 203)
"That's the problem with wishes, they ensnare you." (p. 209)
"I could have asked for one at the front desk, but I didn't want a lightbulb. I just wanted to feel put-upon." (p. 211)
"'So it was inflatable?' The guests laughed at Hugh's little joke, and I took a moment to think the worse of them. An inflatable hand is preposterous and not worth imagining. Couldn't they see that?" (p. 226)
"People who are competing for the titles of best-loved aunts and uncles ... send satin pants and delicate hand-crafted sweaters accompanied by notes reading 'P.S. The fur collar is detachable.' The baby is photographed in each new outfit, and I receive pictures almost daily. In them my brother and his wife look not like parents but like backwoods kidnappers, secretly guarding the heiress to a substantial cashmere fortune." (p. 242)
"'Hyaa!' I yell. 'Hyaa. Hyaa!" It's the sound my father makes when entering his toolshed, the cry of cowboys as they round up dogies, and it suggests a certain degree of authority." (p. 251)
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Water for Elephants - Sara Gruen
"Age is a terrible thief. Just when you're getting the hang of life, it knocks your legs out from under you and stoops your back. It makes you ache and muddies your head and silently spreads cancer throughout your spouse." (p. 12)
"Although there are times I'd give anything to have her back, I'm glad she went first. Losing her was like being cleft down the middle. It was the moment it all ended for me, and I wouldn't have wanted her to go through that. Being the survivor stinks." (p. 13)
"I cling to my anger with every ounce of humanity left in my ruined body, but it's no use. It slips away, like a wave from shore. I am pondering this sad fact when I realize the blackness of sleep is circling my head. It's been there awhile, biding it's time and growing closer with each revolution. I give up on rage, which at this point has become a formality, and make a mental note to get angry again in the morning. Then I let myself drift, because there's really no fighting it." (p. 69)
"We lean against the wall in silence, still holding hands. After about an hour she falls asleep, sliding down until her head rests on my shoulder. I remain awake, every fiber of my body aware of her proximity." (p. 253)
"She speaks without need or even room for response, so I simply hold her and stroke her hair. She talks of the pain, grief and horror of the past four years; of learning to cope with being the wife of a man so violent and unpredictable his touch made her skin crawl and of thinking, until quite recently, that she'd finally managed to do that. And then, finally, of how my appearance had forced her to realize she hadn't learned to cope at all." (p. 272)
"Afterwards, she lies nestled against me, her hair tickling my face. I stroke her lightly, memorizing her body. I want her to melt into me, like butter on toast. I want to absorb her and walk around for the rest of my days with her encased in my skin.
I want.
I lie motionless, savoring the feeling of her body against mine. I'm afraid to breathe in case I break the spell." (p. 273)
"Even so, I wonder whether our affair isn't obvious. It seems to me that the bonds between us must be visible." (p. 280)
"With a secret like that, at some point the secret itself becomes irrelevant. The fact that you kept it does not." (p. 327)
"Although there are times I'd give anything to have her back, I'm glad she went first. Losing her was like being cleft down the middle. It was the moment it all ended for me, and I wouldn't have wanted her to go through that. Being the survivor stinks." (p. 13)
"I cling to my anger with every ounce of humanity left in my ruined body, but it's no use. It slips away, like a wave from shore. I am pondering this sad fact when I realize the blackness of sleep is circling my head. It's been there awhile, biding it's time and growing closer with each revolution. I give up on rage, which at this point has become a formality, and make a mental note to get angry again in the morning. Then I let myself drift, because there's really no fighting it." (p. 69)
"We lean against the wall in silence, still holding hands. After about an hour she falls asleep, sliding down until her head rests on my shoulder. I remain awake, every fiber of my body aware of her proximity." (p. 253)
"She speaks without need or even room for response, so I simply hold her and stroke her hair. She talks of the pain, grief and horror of the past four years; of learning to cope with being the wife of a man so violent and unpredictable his touch made her skin crawl and of thinking, until quite recently, that she'd finally managed to do that. And then, finally, of how my appearance had forced her to realize she hadn't learned to cope at all." (p. 272)
"Afterwards, she lies nestled against me, her hair tickling my face. I stroke her lightly, memorizing her body. I want her to melt into me, like butter on toast. I want to absorb her and walk around for the rest of my days with her encased in my skin.
I want.
I lie motionless, savoring the feeling of her body against mine. I'm afraid to breathe in case I break the spell." (p. 273)
"Even so, I wonder whether our affair isn't obvious. It seems to me that the bonds between us must be visible." (p. 280)
"With a secret like that, at some point the secret itself becomes irrelevant. The fact that you kept it does not." (p. 327)
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
The Death of Ivan Ilych and Other Stories - Tolstoy
From "Family Happiness" -
"In the morning we were cheerful, at dinner polite, in the evening tender. 'Good!...' I said to myself, 'that's all very well, to do good and lead an upright life, as he says, but we've plenty of time for that, and there is something else for which I only have the energy now.' That was not what I needed, I needed strife; I wanted feeling to guide us in life, and not life to be the guide to feeling. I longed to go with him to the edge of a precipice and to say 'Another step, and I fling myself down! another movement and I am lost!' and for him, pale at the edge of the abyss, to snatch me up in his strong arms, hold me over it, so that my heart would stand still, and bear me away whither he would." (p.51)
"'What are you whispering today?' I asked.
He stopped, thought a little, and with a smile quoted the two lines of Lermontov -
'And in his madness prays for storms,
As though in storms he might find peace'"
(p. 55)
From "The Kreutzer Sonata"
"'No, I am speaking about the same thing, about the preference that one man or one woman has for one person above all others, and I simply ask, 'How long is this preference to last?''
'How long? why, sometimes it lasts a whole lifetime,' said the lady, shrugging her shoulders.
'Yes, but that is true only in novels, but never in real life. In real life this preference for one person rather than another may occasionally last for a year, more frequently it is measured by months, or even by weeks or days or hours,' said he, evidently knowing that he was surprising every one by his opinion, and well satisfied with it. ...
'Yes, I know,' ... 'You are speaking of what is supposed to exist, but I am speaking of what does exist. For every man feels for every pretty woman what you call love.'"
(p. 154)
"'Depravity does not lie in anything physical; depravity does not imply any physical deformity; depravity, genuine depravity, consist in freeing oneself from the moral relations to women with whom you enter into physical relations. And this emancipation I arrogated to myself as a virtue.'" (p. 158)
"'It is a marvelous thing how full of illusion is the notion that beauty is an advantage. A beautiful woman says all sorts of foolishness, you listen and you do not hear any foolishness, but what you hear seems to you wisdom itself. She says and does vulgar things, and to you it seems lovely. Even when she does not say stupid or vulgar things, but it simply beautiful, you are convinced that she is miraculously wise and moral.'"
(p. 163)
..tbc...
"In the morning we were cheerful, at dinner polite, in the evening tender. 'Good!...' I said to myself, 'that's all very well, to do good and lead an upright life, as he says, but we've plenty of time for that, and there is something else for which I only have the energy now.' That was not what I needed, I needed strife; I wanted feeling to guide us in life, and not life to be the guide to feeling. I longed to go with him to the edge of a precipice and to say 'Another step, and I fling myself down! another movement and I am lost!' and for him, pale at the edge of the abyss, to snatch me up in his strong arms, hold me over it, so that my heart would stand still, and bear me away whither he would." (p.51)
"'What are you whispering today?' I asked.
He stopped, thought a little, and with a smile quoted the two lines of Lermontov -
'And in his madness prays for storms,
As though in storms he might find peace'"
(p. 55)
From "The Kreutzer Sonata"
"'No, I am speaking about the same thing, about the preference that one man or one woman has for one person above all others, and I simply ask, 'How long is this preference to last?''
'How long? why, sometimes it lasts a whole lifetime,' said the lady, shrugging her shoulders.
'Yes, but that is true only in novels, but never in real life. In real life this preference for one person rather than another may occasionally last for a year, more frequently it is measured by months, or even by weeks or days or hours,' said he, evidently knowing that he was surprising every one by his opinion, and well satisfied with it. ...
'Yes, I know,' ... 'You are speaking of what is supposed to exist, but I am speaking of what does exist. For every man feels for every pretty woman what you call love.'"
(p. 154)
"'Depravity does not lie in anything physical; depravity does not imply any physical deformity; depravity, genuine depravity, consist in freeing oneself from the moral relations to women with whom you enter into physical relations. And this emancipation I arrogated to myself as a virtue.'" (p. 158)
"'It is a marvelous thing how full of illusion is the notion that beauty is an advantage. A beautiful woman says all sorts of foolishness, you listen and you do not hear any foolishness, but what you hear seems to you wisdom itself. She says and does vulgar things, and to you it seems lovely. Even when she does not say stupid or vulgar things, but it simply beautiful, you are convinced that she is miraculously wise and moral.'"
(p. 163)
..tbc...
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